Holidays & Hurts

First of all, one of the reasons I have not updated this blog in a while is due to a lot of personal events happening.

I was laid off...

This wasn't a hugely surprising move. (I wish it had been)

However, it was sad. This is the first job where I have left feeling useless. I know that layoffs happen all the time to lots of people, and it isn't a really big deal, especially since I departed from my former company on "good terms".

Buuut.... I have some regrets, and some things that are now hugely negatively impacted by this change. I am currently not doing super well financially. I had a budget for 2025, but it was blown out of the water by several ill-timed purchases. One of which was one I could have avoided, and the others were more critical at the moment.

I had $4,000 in savings. Here is how it disappeared, and why my budget is a wreck:

As you can see, that is a lot of money to spend in a short amount of time. I was behind budget, but with a plan to restore it.

Sadly, as mentioned above, I was laid off. I wasn't even allowed to complete the pay period. Now it is January and I am not sure where I am going to get the next paycheck to pay off my budget (and some credit card debt :p).

Moving forward, I have been looking for work, however it is harder to find people who want to hire during the holidays. I think I might have an opportunity in the future, but right now I am stressing :(

The good news is that Jesus is my hope. Not my money situation, my work situation, or what I am going to do. I am trusting in His ability to help me with my burden. He is in control. He is good.

Work isn't the only situation I am in right now. I have an upcoming bill for school that isn't small. ~$1600.

That is obviously out of my budget at the moment.

Also, University is looking to be overly expensive even with all of the $20,000/yr scholarship I am getting. Praying for that as well.

Mostly, there hasn't been any news on this since last time I posted. Praying for an update next Monday.

It is important to remember here that patience is key. Jesus can give me patience. He is good, and His plans are good.

As I have stated above. Jesus' plans are good and important. Mine are fine, but not the actual plan. I thought I had a plan for many things, but recently I haven't and it has really made me sit down and reflect where I am right now.

I realized that I have fallen away from the important routine of being in the Word frequently in private. I have spent many years studying the Word in classes, church, and other programs, however I have fallen short in my own personal time. I have allowed projects like this (owcol.com) and others to fill my free time, thoughts, and energy. And while the hobbies I enjoy aren't bad things. I have been prioritizing them over God.

Isn't that CRAZY?????

In my head, that is what I think my pastor would say. And what I should be thinking. But my mind has been so overwhelmed by life, that I haven't spent enough time focusing on God. Who makes it happen...

Funny enough. These realizations have been bouncing around in my head for a while now, but it is only now when I am writing this that I am truly formulating what exactly I am struggling with right now.

Jobs are hard. Work is hard. Life is hard. But Jesus wants us to give Him our burdens. To share with Him.

We learn about how to deal with burdens not only by praying, worshiping, and studying corporately, but also privately. This is where I think I am lacking.

I do not think that study of the Word will fix my life problems, however, I think it might eventually help me learn how to deal with them, or trust God even when times are tough. This knowledge is something I already know, but don't put into practice as much as I should. Isn't it funny how I have never quoted any scripture directly in anything I have ever written?

No?

It is not! I feel I should know scripture well enough, that when I am studying scripture corporately, I can frequently recognize and reference points in the Word that apply to my current situation (or others). I do not do super well with memorization, but this is something that I think I have been slothful in.

All that to say that my first new project will relate to this.

I am SO grateful that God is good. His plans are good. He loves me. And I am loved. I forget these things sometimes, so even when I have said or written this before. It is important to remember.

Also, my favorite quote from scripture for any point in life:

This is such a good reminder that He is in control, and we must be obedient.

So, I do not remember all of the projects I had started or that were in progress, so I am going to give some updates:

First, I have started working on a portfolio site (driven by my need for a job). Due to the urgency, the first version was coded mainly by myself with the assistance that AI can bring. Sadly, it is not currently working:

Second, for Christmas I restored my grandparents' photo server with a new machine running HexOS:

Third, I have finally gotten access to the UniFi portal for my church's network, so I can start correcting issues that are real (and that bother me).

Fourth, I have started working on a new USB portable toolkit using a Windows VM:

Fifth, but not least:

I obtained an elephant ear beta fish over as you might've noticed above in my Amazon shopping history, it is the gift that keeps on giving...

I have spent about $100 on things for this stupid fish (her name is Shelli), so this is my current project :p

In review, a lot has happened over the break, and there is more to come. It is important to remember hope in Christ.